Music: traditional
Lyrics copyright 2008
By Larry Rand
(CHORUS) John McCain was born 10,000 years ago,
There ain’t nothin’ that he thinks he doesn’t know;
He thinks Iraq’s a spree,
We should spend a century
Getting shot at by a Shiite so-and so.
He was born in Panama at Coco Solo,
An event to which his parents pleaded nolo,
He was an admiral’s boy;
His idea of hoi polloi
Was drinking cognac after playing polo.
At Annapolis, his homework was just fair;
Admiral Dewey was his roommate there,
They both would talk and talk
About the news from Kitty Hawk, and
John stopped his ballooning then and there.
(CHORUS)
In Viet Nam, he did what told to do,
By civilians who had loosened every screw,
He served his country well, and
The poor man went through hell, and
Let’s give him credit where the credit’s due.
He became a prisoner and could not get loose;
They kept him until they announced a truce,
When he left the ol’ Navy,
He joined the GOP —
A much more scary version of abuse.
(CHORUS)
He moved to Arizona and why not?
He was retired and it was dry and hot,
He met wife number two, and
With nothing else to do,
Became another Georgetown Hottentot.
It was in the Senate Sauna, pouring sweat,
John heard Al Gore’d made up the Internet,
John told the media choir
That he’d invented fire, and
“Albert Gore, he ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
(CHORUS)
He ran against George Bush one sunny day,
Bush’s people called him drunk and black and gay,
They did the dirty dozens until
John’s old head was buzzin’ and
It took six months to wash the slime away.
Back in the Senate, he and Kennedy
Jumped in the sack — legislatively,
To help those at the bottom,
Heck, we’re lucky that we’ve got ‘em,
They’re such experts in the field of poverty…
(CHORUS)
John McCain has run from shore to shore, ‘cuz
He thinks that he can reach the White House door;
Today we know we can
Elect a gentleman
Who served our country in the Civil War.
(CHORUS)
